A short piece on friendship from days gone by. Inspired by “Throw It Away” by Abbey Lincoln and “My Love Goes Free” by Jon Foreman.
My hands are wide open.
For years and days and hours they were gripped tightly around you. They were so fiercely clenched that I could barely breathe.
Were my hands like a cage long before then? They are small, but perhaps you thought they pressed like iron around you and your words and ideas. My hold did not weaken, but I grew up and you flew out. I thought I still held you, but one day I caught a glimpse of the place you weren’t.
If only I had known sooner to call for you. Every day I saw your shadow on the wall and I thought you were just beyond me. How lonely to discover one day that you had left your shadow tied to mine, but my reality was no longer part of yours. But I held on ever more tightly, waiting on and on.
One time, I had a two blue birds who lived in a cage. They died, as some birds do.
What could I offer with clenched hands? If I was meant to have you, then I am just in transit, waiting for release. Yours.
But if not, you are not indebted
You owe me nothing
It is already thrown away.